a new beginning with a touch of irish luck and better karma...

mummy said i look fat - twice. gained weight is the correct term i would use. and she said this after i have started my swimming routine a few weeks back. the pressure to look good. even at home i'm not spared.

packing my room of a pigsty, cleaning out cupboards full of clothes and passing it to my cousins. i felt damn good about the giving part. was grinning for a full hour till my jaws hurt.

and now, i'm clearing old stuffs from 10 years back. poly notes (do i even need these anymore), diskettes (1.44mb..everything had to be in compressed form), poly books (IT shits that bores me).

bought me-self a new toy 2 mths ago: a lilac-coloured psp. i finally caved in to the console craze and monster hunter has been keeping me up all night alongside with womb and cuddlebitch.

RT at bedok camp has kept my thursdays nites and sunday afternoons occupied till 7th august. can't wait to get it over with though on the optimistic side, i have made a few friends there and time passes faster with friends around.

movie watching at bedok cinema has been very cost-saving. my review for Hellboy II: The Golden Army:-
Hellboy II was an eyeful feast of imagination. The nuanced performance of Ron Pearlman as the attention-loving hero as well as the harbinger of the Apocalypse was a joy to watch while Blair's "Liz Sherman" has grown from a meek girl who needed to be protected, has now blossomed into the protector and possibly aided our hero in welcoming the Apocalypse as well. As for Prince Nuada, he wasn't all evil, he just didn't have a happy childhood (who would if you had to watch human beings spiked, trampled and crushed by the Golden Army). Nuala, his twin sister, provides that delicate balance that Nuada never was and despite all that blondeness, she is actually very likable. So much so that Abe fell for her and goes to great length to impress her. And though I did miss the villiany that Rasputin was and the creepiness that Kronen brought, the sequel made me go 'WOW' more than the first movie. This was the result of Del Toro's unchained directing, fantastical creatures and fairy tale-like story. 5 thumbs up.

i'm just looking forward to bigger and better things now. overseas trip to don't-know-where-yet, possible shopping spree in bangkok, better pay, good bonus, a new job.....
pray hard fauzi...

...

i miss you...
a lot of times i wished that you didn't have to go but i know this is something that you really wanted
a lot of times i asked myself if we can work it out despite everything and i tell myself "yes"
a lot of times i lay in bed wishing you were here with me and the closest thing i can get to you is seeing your face in skype and hearing your voice
and especially now, when thing are not looking up for me
i need you to be here by my side
i need your support
not just to tell me that everything will be alright but to give me some form of direction
i know you're going through a rough time too
and you can call me selfish
but it has not been easy for me
you're there to make a name for yourself and i know how important it is for you
i just hope that i will be able to have the same success as you do in the future
because my future is uncertain
i don't have the talents that you possess
my talents and skill is myself and that is not enough in this day and age
i can only hope that things will look up for me
i have seen better days and i deserve better
i miss you...

updates are in order

will be updating the blog during the weekends. i can see the cobwebs already.

too many things to update.

work. and talking about work, it pays to be wary of your back. and what is work without disliking some of your colleagues. pay sucks and no bonus. and today, someone pissed me off at work. being busy does not excuse you for brushing me off by being rude.

melbourne 2007.

zouk out 2007.

death of my cousin.

i will just let the pictures do the talking for the next entry.

long awaited update for last....last... month

sentosa. shopping. daiso. marche. wedding dinner. umbrella. adventure sg. chicken in a biscuit. all these and much more, not in any particular order.

im back at work from my 2 day course. a break from work and school. course was made enjoyable by the bevy of beauties: Yati, Haniza, Hidya and Nora whose passion includes admiring themselves in the mirror, make-up and shopping while me and Mutalib waited for about 15min outside the toilet as our ladies conferenced on the latest lipstick colour. did i mention we are all CAM-HOs too. photo taking is my newest forte: in class, during tea break, at the staircase. as long as there is no "NO PHOTO TAKING" sign.

a few weeks back, i was at sentosa, courstesy of free cab ride from Ping and free tix for the volleyball match. the sun was ultra scorching that during the intermission, while smoking, we decided to take a dip in the water. and the frisbee came in handy as well.

tip of the day: bring extra shorts when you go sentosa cause if not, you will be forced to wear just your boxers into the sea.

Daiso shopping was next after our sentosa expedition. they have these double decker shopping cart fit for a Queen and endless aisles of cooking wares, tupperwares, food, stationaries, toiletries and other misc items ALL for the price of $2. all from Japan. NICE.

Ping bought some more clothes along the way to complete the whole shopping experience while i had the unfortunate luck of just seeing, not buying policy. to my dismay, i found out a few days later that my pay had actually come in on that particular day.

so it was back to Vivo La Shopping with Ping on Vesak's Day to get my Zara superslimfit jeans and slim belt from River Island. all the pent up non-shopping frustrations have finally been released. heaving a huge sigh of relief, we walked around and discovered to our horrors that Vivo has Marche. as i commented my horrors to Ping, she asked me "wanna go Marche and eat?" not knowing what had possesed me, i answered a resounding YES in a spilt second. horrors of horrors indeed. a full stomach later and $10 lesser, we waited for Sam who wanted to go La Shopping too.

it was like looking for a needle in a haystack as we searched for a suitable long sleeved shirt for him. the search ended at G2000 and about time too as June was waiting for us before we all head down to Toa Payoh to meet with the rest for dinner and discuss race issues. have not seen Joanne or Jack or June or the rest of Ace Adventure gang for quite some time too so it was good meeting up.

p.s. im too lazy to update pics. haha

artsy fowlzee

i'm sitting in my chair at work now listening to my beloved ipod counting down till 5:50pm.
Madonna's "time goes by so slowly" is so apt right now.
on the brighter side of today, i have been blessed with many, many snacks that includes several marks and spencer chocolate biscuits and a packetful of chewing gum. all thanks to the 4 trainee teachers who decided that i lack enough stimulating and fattening food. however it is sad to have the seat beside me empty again, though, the extra space is very appreciated.
i do miss having to turn around and talking to Ariel, gossiping and planning some impromptu activities like ordering cupcakes online or checking out baking courses or having Sharon come over and steal all my chicken-in-a-biscuit while warming up my seat when im gone. i do wish them all the best in their new school, i'm sure they'll be wonderful teachers.
the exam period brings out the laziness in me since by 2pm, the staff room is almost empty. it's time like this that i wish i can claim my hours off but i'm saving it for a bigger, worthy cause. muahahahaha.

work aside, a different side of me has been taking over lately.
the artsy fowlzee me.

first was Jib's concert, Chorus of Dreams.
a concert to help The Singapore Association of The Visually Handicapped (SAVH) to raise funds, it features performances by Project Superstar winner Tan Weilian, Superband champions Mi Lu Bing, Mathilda de Silva and Leandra Rasiah, both SG Idol alumnus and my LP mate, Clara. i really loved their (Mathilda, Leandra, Clara and Ros of Halfestride) version of Lady Marmalade. it was a powerful and soulful rendition although the sexiness could be jazzed up more.

next was David's Labour of Love musical. i admit i'm not a big fan of musicals. too much singing. but this musical was really entertaining and the songs were enjoyable, though i felt that the main male lead could have pulled in more emotions when belting out his songs. he looked a bit empty in the eyes and not much connection with the audiences during his singing. the best part was when the HUGE and i mean huge 'NTUC' logo was shown in full bling-bling complete with blinking lights at the end part. hilarious. me and Ping couldn't stop laughing.

and wad is art without watching a play. i may have missed out on watching 251 but thanks to some cockout on a certain ticketing company, i managed to land myself a free tix to watch The Swimming Instructor. it was kinda nostalgic watching the play, and the 3 leads gives a realness and rawness in their acting that you feel for them.

hopefully i'll be able to catch midsummer's night dream. i have an affinity to this particular play. the reason being that my secondary school staged the same play at the same location with me playing Lysander 11 years ago. i still have fond and rather unforgettable, hilarious memories of Sam's oranges that were used as fake breasts and sleeping on the green, green grass of fort canning, thick make-up on my already oily face, white thights that is still the butt of jokes from Ping and all the endless reherasals.
but the best part was the freedom that i got playing a different character. the emotionss that i had to portray, the unmistakable Shakespearean languange, the limelight. it was as if i was born to act and i cherish every single moment of it.

of late, me and cuddlebitch has been spending time together. she at my place and me at her place. watching heroes, america's next top drag queen model, medium, ghost whisperer, the very desperate housewives and the occasional csi. i'm so gonna miss all these shows once the season ends (and it's ending soon...sob sob sob). more fun times ahead as we both await eagerly for Santa Dylan's return.

a few shout outs:

dylan, cant wait for u to come back ya. and i'm so looking forward to your gifts..and krispy kreme....hehehe... miss simpang bedok, the late night suppers, the crazy misadventures, tom yam and mussels just to name a few so what are you waiting for...come back soon...miss you :p

cuddlebitch, you personify strength. i know there are a lot of times that you're hurting inside but you don't show it. my heart goes out to you. letting go is the hardest thing to do and i wish i could have done more to help but just know that i'm here for you.

all those people, families and friends who wished me happy birthday, thank you for your birthday wishes, i feel really blessed to have you as my families and friends. thank you so much once again.

i don't know wad it is but i must be some kind of SUPERSTAR

i just had the most tiring, fun-filled and glamorous week. let me recap.

but first, let me count the gifts that i have received over the past few months.
dylan came back and bought me lotsa of goodies, he was like my own personal santa claus bringing back: 4 polo t-shirts, Sin City dvd, a small stuffed Mokona and..... ALL 4 seasons of ALIAS...
and as for Xmas, since i've been a good boy, Santa dylan rewarded me with my very own Mr Snakey from Ikea, season 1 boxset of Prison Break and a miniature Suigintou from Rozen Maiden (that is now sitting nicely at my workdesk).
cuddelbitch gave me a few neat hand accessories from Bangingkok but the most memorable gift she gave me was when she told me that what i wrote on her xmas card made her cry.
me and nehneh exchanged duckies, purely coincidental, she gave me a duckie body scrub and i gave her a duckie coin bank.
i'm still waiting to pass sam his xmas prezzie though.

it's the end...finally...
after almost 10 months, it's finally over...
and i think about time too, any longer and i would go crazy...
i'm talking about Project Vibrant Colours, the 2 days finale was held at East Coast with Mr Michael Palmer as our GOH and Ms Elim Chew as our Patron.
it was an amazing experience for me, to be part of the creation of a Guiness Record (we're still awaiting for the officials to get back to us on that..in about 3 month's time)
the high, the lows, the tears, the sweats, the arguments, the late nights, the numerous phonecalls, the bitchiness, the joys and laughter, the support, the acknowledgements...PVC opened up a whole new gamut of experiences for me.
as the 3rd and 4th marked the fruition of our hard labour, i can't help but feel a warm, tingling feeling of accomplishment.
and when Ian got all the main comm to come on stage to be acknowledged, tears just started flowing as i looked into the eyes of the mentors, the youths and friends (Dylan, Ping and Rain) who had come down to support the project.
and the amount of FREE HUGS that was going around was absolutely fantatstic.

so back to my superstar status.
it was unexpected, really. the 3rd of feb.
Team Vibrantus, this group of 4 spontaneous guys from ITE makes me proud of them and i'm glad i got them into the project, managed to get one of the malay reporters down and he wanted to interview some of the malay participants, mentor and main comm.
since i was the only malay main comm member present that day, he interviewed me.
the interview was nerve wrecking, my malay was below average, i had to retake quite a few times but the end result, or rather, the skillful editing, was satisfying.
i was on the 8pm malay news and PVC was also featured in the english and chinese news though only a short clip was shown.
managed to rush back home just in time to see myself on the news, my family was in front of the telly waiting in anticipation.
and surprise, surprise, azim and my paternal grandma also caught me on the telly and a few others who either messaged me or called me.

dylan kept singin Jamelia's "superstar" in honour of my 15secs of fame.
this is my version though:
i don't know what it that makes me feel like this
i don't know who i am but i must be some kind of superstar

after which, it was down to arab st. for sheesha with dylan, ping and sab.
hilarious times, just relaxing and enjoying the atmosphere with them, it was dylan's first virgin blow by the way, grape-flavoured no less.
we also shot the 3 installment of dylan's illusionist act, this time using humans and making them dissappear....ta-dah!!!
the place we went to offered seats on the floor, which was good for lepak-ing, food was ok, service sucks but the company was priceless.
*will be posting the vid up in the next entry*

next outing was at Tampines Ikea, this time, it was my virgin visit.
to me it was about the same as the one in Queensway.
the noticeable difference is that the food area is 3 times bigger and the smoking area is very loungy.
all 3 of us bought snakes back. it was on sale, super super cheap.
we headed down to simpang bedok for more crappy french-and-saunders cum kate marsh cum sexy beech talk.
farking hilarious.
*will post the link up in the next entry*

ok, will continue with part DUA by end of this week.

my acknowledgements

From 2006 to 2007, its a huge jump to be updating my blog, which I take full responsibility of.

I'm too lazy, too tired, got a lot of things to do, no time to update, no mood to update. Let's just say goodbye to 2006 and usher in 2007.

2006 brings me very significant memories, and most of those memories etched in my mind are stuffs that nightmares are made of.

Most the most of it, 2006 was a year of breakups, for me and 2 of my closest friends. We are like the Break-up No Luck Club. The events after my break up was like a scene from a movie, very dramatic and embarrassing to say the least. Needless to say, drinking does not numb the pain, instead it amplifies it 10 folds.

The saving grace comes from my 3 best friends who, for once, turned up in full force plus Sab and Loretta. A thousand... million thanks to you guys for taking care of me that night and morning. Domo arigatou gozaimas from the bottom of my heart.

2006 is also the year of debts. No, im not a gambling addict nor do I owe Starhub a substantial amount of money for not paying my bills (though I am behind one month of payment). The debts come in the form of a course I took. And till now, I'm still repaying the people who has gratiously lend me the money. Slowly but surely.

The 2 above major events shaped me into who I am today and though 2006 has its dark moments, dark is accompanied by light.

2006 was the year I got in touch with MYSELF. Really in touch. I discovered what it meant to be committed to someone, especially a person whom I love a lot and want to spend the rest of my life with. I discovered how much of a loving person I can be and the distance I would go through for the people that I care about. I discovered what it means to be responsible for the choices that I make in life and not be angry at the world for not having things done the way I want it to be. I discovered emotions in me that I hid for a long time, afraid of showing it to the world; the ability to just cry. It was never a sign of weakness for me to cry but rather I was being authentic with myself. I discovered hugging and how this particularly simple act is nothing shameful at all, even among guys. The list goes on... too many to list down.

Facilitating became my bread and butter. And it was a joy and challenging experience that thought me certain innner strengths and abolished many of my self doubts. I learnt to trust myself. Just recently, my Admiralty sec students that I took for iChoose asked for me when Lye did the follow-up for them. I was so touched and at the same time proud of them for making the choice to move their life forward. Kudos guys...

For the first time, I also did the unthinkable. I was a trainer for iMove. Never in my life had I imagined myself to be a trainer or that i had the capabilities. But become a trainer, I did. The jittery feeling, the butterflies in my stomach, the frustrations, the awkward moments, the screw-ups and the sigh of relief.
1 word.
WOW.

2006 was also the year I choose to un-procrastinate on an interest of mine. Sign language. Yes, i am now the a certified Beginner's Level 1 sign languager.
And with many, many, many more levels to go. But it's fun and I love it. The only problem is that I dun have anyone to practise it with. Any takers?

The other big thing that I had been wanting to do has also been un-procrastinated. I joined PVC, not Polyvinyl chloride, but Project Vibrant Colours. Wanting to be part of something big and making a difference is a dream of mine. When Sheena told me about PVC, I immediately said yes. It was the opportunity of a lifetime. I'm glad and sad at the same time as PVC day draws nearer, 3rd and 4th Feb @ East Coast Park, Area E2. It has been a fun, draining, tension and stress-filled, fat burning, brain cracking and ONE HELL OF A BIG GIANT ROLLER COASTER RIDE. Spanning 4 months since October 06, youths from all over Singapore come together to raise money for charities and collect used pens in order to form a collage to set a Guiness Record. I so need a rest after this is over.

And finally, I guess the biggest surprise of all would be me settling down. Yes, in the J-O-B sense of it. After freelancing for a number of years, this is a huge giant step for me. Being uncomfortable and adjusting to a new life that will have my social life cut down to a half has been my biggest worry but things have been too comfortable for me so far and I need to take it one notch higher. And so, here I am, a Co-curricular Programe Executive for XXX Secondary, CCPE for short. Basically, I support the teachers in every aspect of the school's CCA. The only bitchy thing about it is that I have to work on Saturdays, ah well, me and my big mouth for agreeing.

More highlights of 2006:
1. WOW Day, a charity event that my LP organised for the Rainbow Club children
2. Taking picture with 2 of MTV's hottest VJs, May or Choy (can't remember whom) and Denise Keller
3. Invited to 2 special events, FIAT car launch at MOS (special invite only) and FemmeQuest at Zouk (free entry)
4. Dylan coming back for June and Nov hols
5. my K800i

Ok, time for some special shout outs to a few peeps out there whom I truly, truly love and adore and would die-for-you kind

Dylan, for ever being so patient with me. For helping me out with PVC. For being there for me all this time. For being a part of my life. For being my pillar of support and strength. I have said this before and I will never stop saying it, thank you thank you thank you.

Ping, my cuddlebitch, what would I do without you. You have been there when I was down and at my lowest and you have seen me at my worst and still you are there for me. And I promise to do the same for you.

Juansa, how can I ever leave you out. Sorry for not being there for you enough but I plan to male up for it this year. You legs were literally a pillow for my head and a damn good pillow too. My shoulders will be for you to cry on if you ever need it.

Sam, so much truth I have told you which I never thought I would. I didn't know how you would take it but I know that I still have a friend in you no matter what. For that alone, I treasure and am grateful.

And that ends my 2006 summary. Up next will be pics and I'll be reviewing some songs, TV series and animes.

Project Vibrant Colours

Hi guys,

Me and my friends are organising a project and need your support for the project in a couple of areas. Here's how the project goes first.

A group of friends, 11 of us, from all walks of life, brought together by our common belief in the power of youths. Therefore, we got together and created Project Vibrant Colours (PVC). I'm excited to extend my invitation to you guys in joining us and giving us your support for the project in a couple of areas.

Project Vibrant Colours (PVC)
PVC, in the span of 4 months, aims to allow the participating youth to create spectacular results in their personal lives, to be in contribution to others, and to play a vital role in attempting to set a world record all at the same time. The actual event will be on 2nd to 4th February 2007.

Personal Growth
The participating youth will be a part of a leadership training program which allows them to experience being Committed and Responsible to their personal goals and reaching our for them with Perseverance, Confidence and Motivation.

Contribution
The participating youth will be raising funds for the charitable organizations of their choice. They will be collecting used pens from the public and these pens would then be used in the world record setting attempt to create the "World's largest collage using used pens".

World Record
The world record setting attempt is the finale event of Project Vibrant Colours. The participating schools will congregate and put together the World's Largest Collage (20m x 14m) using the used pens collected.

The Youths
We are targeting Project Vibrant Colours at 800 youths from 80
schools and institutions of the upper secondary to tertiary levels.

You can support us by

1: Being a mentor to coach the students for a period of 15 weeks.

2: Being a volunteer on the actual day

3: Refer us to people whom you think will be able to support for schools/mentors/sponsorship

4: Form up a team of 10 to participate if you are from secondary. JC, or tertiary institutions and be part of the world record attempt. The dateline is this Friday, 29th Sept.

We are currently endorsed by South East Community Development Council (SE CDC)and sponsored by The Absorbent Mind. This project gives us the opportunity to be in contribution as well. Our vision, to create a Future of Vibrancy and Colours. Pass it on.

Please feel free to contact me, Fauzi, at

: Email aphoenyx@yahoo.com.sg

for any queries or clarifications or to support or anything. Pass it on ;)

for the youths,

Fauzi